Strange Bedfellows
by Masterdramon
Summary: The day has finally come for Quercus Alba to face up to the full weight of his crimes, but no client of his stature walks into a court of law unarmed. And who better to defend such an inhuman monster than...another monster? Five-part miniseries.
1. Part I: Investigation

**Strange Bedfellows – Investigation**

_Disclaimer: In case you haven't figured it out yet, I don't own Ace Attorney. All Gyakuten-related characters, settings, etc. are the intellectual property of Shu Takumi/Capcom._

[-]

**Investigation – Day 1**

**March 15, 10:46 PM**

**Detention Center**

"Let us get one thing perfectly straight before we officially commence our business, Mister Alba," Kristoph Gavin opened, his glasses going opaque for a moment as he adjusted them with a smirk. "There is no doubt within my mind that you are, in fact, guilty of the murders with which you have been charged."

"Really?" Quercus Alba questioned dryly, stroking his beard. "In that case, might I inquire as to the reason you decided to take up my defense in the first place?"

"That cannot possibly be a serious query…former ambassador," Kristoph replied nonchalantly, his glasses still shining brilliantly. "Your upcoming trial is rapidly becoming the talk of multiple countries; any name attached to this case will gain immeasurable fame, regardless of the ultimate result."

Quercus' frown, which had begun to manifest in response to being reminded of his rescinded title, deepened severely at this, until his earlier expression of impassive neutrality gave way to barely concealed fury. "Am I to understand, _Herr Gavin_," he stated slowly, intentionally butchering his attempt at the defense attorney's native language, "that you have no interest in winning this case at all, then? That you wish simply to…'throw me under the bus,' I believe is the term used in this country…and leapfrog across my executed corpse to glory?"

"Oh, you are misconstruing my words by quite a fair margin, Mister Alba," Kristoph said, waving a hand dismissively. "Although I will indeed attain the fame and notoriety I desire regardless of whether I win or lose in two days, the headlines will doubtlessly be far more…interesting if the former becomes true. Particularly as, completely apart from the social stature of the defendant, the prosecution will also be quite a big name himself – the world-famous Miles Edgeworth, as I'm sure you are aware."

The rage that had been simmering just below the surface of Quercus Alba's aged and wrinkled skin reached its boiling point at the mention of the cravat-wearing prosecutor, and with a furious roar the ostensibly crippled gentleman wrenched himself to his feet, cracking the makeshift walking stick he had been permitted in the Detention Center in two. Kristoph glanced nervously at the guard leaning up against the door nearest to his prospective client, but to his slight surprise the policeman failed to even flinch. In fact, the German national could almost have sworn that he heard him muttering something along the lines of, "Yeah, haven't seen _that_ before. Come back once ya learn how tah pull Chianti outta yer ass, too…"

Regardless of the guard's rather startling indifference, however, Kristoph could not deny that the change that had overtaken the former ambassador was…dramatic, to say the least. No longer did any trace of frailty linger across his withered features, his posture now perfectly straight as he fondled one of the numerous medals set across his breast. "Don't you _dare_ mention that insignificant little worm in my presence, Mister Gavin!" he roared. "Since before he was even in _diapers_, I have been working in the service of Cohdopia and her twin offspring, and yet still the insufferable whelp managed to affect my ignominious fall from grace. Why, if I still had access to even _half_ the connections that were available to me as an ambassador…"

"Forgive me, Mister Alba…but in my experience assassinations are inefficient and, above all, unreliable unless performed personally," Kristoph interjected with a low chuckle. "If you truly wish to strike down Miles Edgeworth once and for all, I would suggest collaborating with my case to your fullest extent. Only in the courtroom can a wretched amateur like the swine they permit to prosecute in this country be exposed for what they really are."

Quercus Alba moved to respond, but his eyes were inexorably averted to the backside of the defense attorney's right hand. The sallow skin had tensed noticeably as Kristoph insulted his opposite numbers in the realm of law, creating a rather disturbing effect when observed in combination with a wide scar set across the area. In his anger – and, the former ambassador could admit, paranoia – the sight appeared to resemble nothing if not the face of a demon, grimacing menacingly with its stitched mouth.

Kristoph seemed to notice where Quercus was staring after a few moments, however, and a fleeting scowl passed over his normally placid features before he crossed his arms and restored his cool smirk. "In any event, our time grows short; visiting hours end in about two minutes," he explained, pulling out a handful of papers from his briefcase as he did. "Now is the time for your final decision, Mister Alba. Sign these documents if you wish for me to represent you at Sunday's trial…otherwise, you'll have to make due with one of our 'esteemed' public defenders. And considering America's justice department isn't likely to be quite as friendly to you as Allebahst's will be…"

"Fine, fine…you have made your point eminently clear," Quercus responded irritably, pulling the papers toward him. Several pregnant beats passed as the former ambassador glowered at the legal files and then at the Detention Center security camera, before he sighed deeply and offered his practiced signature. "It appears the English's old adage is correct, Mister Gavin," he breathed, gazing intently at the defense attorney's imperceptible mask and vividly recalling the small sliver of his true self that had shined through in his brief moment of tension. "Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows."

[-]

**Investigation – Day 2**

**March 16, 9:22 AM**

**Theatrum Neutralis**

To say that the Cohdopian Embassy was in a state of disarray would be doing the building a gross disservice. The inferno that had devastated the Babahlese side was bad enough on its own, but to worsen the situation by several thousand degrees the entire embassy was quite literally _crawling_ with Interpol agents, dozens and dozens of meaningless insects interfering with Kristoph's ability to investigate the crime scene in peace. After a few minutes of attempting to navigate through the throng of blathering imbeciles to the location of Quercus Alba's purported crime, the German national finally gave up and asked one of the faceless goons to direct him to the person in charge.

That person, as it turned out, was a young man bedecked in a jet-black, fur-collared jacket and an intricate pair of sunglasses, which he removed dramatically as Kristoph calmly approached him. "Lang Zi says: 'Be wary of those who appear most unassuming; the sliest predator camouflages itself so as to avoid detection,'" he growled. "Now, who are _you_ supposed to be?"

"Kristoph Gavin, attorney-at-law," the tanned blond answered, shaking his head slightly at the agent's rude tone. "I represent former ambassador Quercus Alba."

"Hmmph," the slightly older man grunted. "Defense attorneys are only marginally more acceptable than prosecutors in my book…playing every dirty trick in the book just to get slime like Alba off the hook for their sins. You'll be getting no information out of Shi-Long Lang or his loyal pack, and that's a promise."

"I require no particular information from the likes of _you_, Agent Lang," Kristoph pronounced, his smile unwavering as he affixed the Zheng Fa national with his trademark stare – the one that had been striking fear into the hearts of every prosecutor this side of the Von Karma clan ever since he had passed the bar at fifteen. "All I truly need are directions to the chamber where Manny Coachen is alleged to have been murdered."

"What part of 'no information' don't you get, pretty boy?" Lang barked. "Lang Zi says: 'Never reveal even the slightest whiff of meat to your enemy, for he may be risen by the scent and rip out your throat in his pursuit of further fulfillment.'" Replacing his sunglasses and turning away, the Interpol investigator added scornfully, "Or, to put it another way…piss off."

Kristoph Gavin's fists clenched tightly at the insult, the Devil that lived within one of them smiling plaintively at the ground, but his cool demeanor did not waver. Instead, he merely extracted an ordinary American dollar from his wallet and a pen from his coat pocket, shattered the latter in two, and let the black ink smear across the slender bill before handing it off to the surly agent. "You are from Zheng Fa, are you not? Just a little reminder of home, then," he remarked, parting from Shi-Long Lang with a cheerful wave.

[-]

**Investigation – Day 2**

**March 16, 9:43 AM**

**Theatrum Neutralis**

Fortunately, Quercus Alba appeared to have spent the entirety of his short time in prison jotting down every conceivable detail regarding the incident he had codenamed "Ablaze," his almost insane levels of preparedness clearly having not been impeded by such trivial matters as not actually possessing an attorney until about eight hours prior. As such, with notes in-hand Kristoph knew that he had to locate the room where the ceremonial gift of several hundred Samurai Dogs had been stored that day; the only question was how.

The stage upon which the inane exhibition of that ridiculous children's action hero had taken place was set off from at least a dozen additional chambers, all of them fairly nondescript and saturated with far too many of Agent Lang's toadying subordinates for Kristoph to really get a good look. Unfortunately, the wolfish Interpol investigator appeared to have issued an order banning any of his hundred or so men from offering the defense attorney so much as the time of day, leaving Kristoph with absolutely no way of discerning just where to investigate next…or at least they would have, if the bespectacled German hadn't eventually run smack-dab into the ridiculous action hero in question.

Alba's notes gave the actor's name as Larry Butz, and that was about as positive as the former ambassador's appraisal of the spiky-haired young man before him grew. Smirking cockily at Kristoph as he flexed the foam muscles of his metallic costume, the absurd buffoon cemented the blond lawyer's already rock-bottom opinion of his character by asking smarmily, "Hey, gorgeous…come here often?"

Kristoph simply crossed his arms behind his back and waited patiently for the would-be Casanova to realize his error, which occurred several moments later and with quite a disproportionate level of drama. "Oh my God, I'm _so sooooooooory!_" Larry Butz exclaimed, his face sweating and his jaw grinding. "For a second there, you looked like this German barmaid that winked at me this one time…Johanna, I think? Or was it Julianne…"

Now lost in his own world as he attempted in vain to recall the name of the maiden in question, the brunette was forcing Kristoph to master a very strong impulse to smash his face in. "You are Mister Larry Butz, correct?" he began genially, dusting imaginary grime from his suit. "I am defense attorney Kristoph Gavin, and I would like to make inquiry as to a few particular details regarding the recent incident."

"Man, you sure talk a lot fancier than Nick does!" Larry yelped, his eyes wide. "But even then, it's still same-old, same-old with all you defense lawyers…blah blah investigate, blah blah gather evidence, blah blah objection…why can't you guys ever have a little _love_ in your souls?"

Kristoph cocked an eyebrow at this "observation," before explaining in carefully measured tones, "My apologies, Mister Butz, but 'love' is not the reason why I have ventured to this embassy today. My only purpose here is to collect evidence and testimony that will help to exonerate my client, Quercus Alba."

"See, there you go with all those fancy words again!" Larry shouted triumphantly, before leaning inward and placing a hand to the side of his mouth as if sharing a secret. "Now, I'm not really sure what 'ek-zon-err-eight' means, but if you're trying to get that Alba guy off, there's something that I gotta tell you," he whispered conspiratorially. "Are you ready? This is probably gonna come as a big shock, but that dude…is _guilty!_"

Kristoph Gavin stared at the amateur actor for several long moments before calmly pushing him to a straight-backed position. "_I_ will be the one deciding that, Mister Butz," he pronounced harshly. "Now if you will please, kindly direct me to the chamber where several dozen cartons of Samurai Dogs were stored on the night of the murder. It has become increasingly clear to me throughout our brief dialogue that you will not suffice as an informative witness."

"Hey, what the heck's that supposed to mean?" Larry screeched, his fists clenched and his jaw extended out. "I can so be a good witness! Just ask Nick…okay, maybe not Nick, but Edgey…well, he probably wouldn't have too many nice things to say either, but…"

"I rest my case," Kristoph muttered under his breath, before raising his voice and pressing on, "Once again, directions to the previous location of the ceremonial Samurai Dogs. I won't ask thrice."

And in his frustration at the infuriating fool standing across from him, the German defense attorney neglected to conceal his right hand as it clenched and revealed the Devil within, something that Larry seemed to notice in the split-second before Kristoph remembered himself and let his sleeve slide down to his fingers. In any event, that appeared to be the only logical explanation for the slender brunette blanching severely and squeaking, "Err, that'd be that dressing room over there…sir…"

"Danke schön, Mister Butz," Kristoph responded with a simpering smile, before turning away from what he very, _very_ much hoped to be his last glimpse of Larry Butz.

Larry, for his part, waved back awkwardly until the blond lawyer was out of earshot, at which point he pulled out his cell phone and dialed a well-practiced number. "Edgey?" he asked, receiving an earful in return. "Okay, yeah, I know you told me not to bother you until after the trial was over, but…well, I think you're gonna wanna hear this anyway…"

[-]

**Investigation – Day 2**

**March 16, 11:06 AM**

**Eldoon's Noodles**

"Blast that man…always has to arrive late to everything," Miles Edgeworth grumbled, consuming another mouthful of Eldoon's Extra-Salty Ramen Surprise and shuddering at the overwhelming flavor of saline. If the magenta-suited prosecutor had had his choice, he would have much preferred to meet at a teahouse or something of the sort, but Wright had _insisted_ on this beaten-up noodle stand for some strange reason. Per usual, he found at least ninety-percent of what went on in that spiky-haired head utterly incomprehensible.

It was about five minutes later that the defense attorney in question finally showed up, his hands in his pockets and a goofy grin on his face. "Sorry Edgeworth, but Maya changed her mind at the last second and decided she'd much rather go for burgers than ramen," explained Phoenix Wright, chuckling awkwardly. "I had to arrange for Gumshoe to drop her and Pearls off at Burger Sultan, and you know how…err…unreliable his car can be."

"Indeed," Edgeworth replied taciturnly, taking a sip of the over-salted broth. "You really need to stop allowing your assistant to dictate your life like this, however. Maya Fey is not a girl for whom indulgence of every one of her eccentricities would be an intelligent course of action."

"You try saying that when Maya's in one of her 'I-must-eat-over-nine-thousand-burgers-or-else-I-will-go-on-a-bloody-killing-spree' moods," Phoenix countered, sweating at the thought. "Trust me; refusing her isn't as easy as it looks."

"Ah, kids these days! Don't have respect for nothin'!" Mister Eldoon interjected, poking his head out of the noodle cart and making it eminently clear that he had been eavesdropping the whole time. "Why, I keep tellin' my boy Guy that he needs to start learnin' the family business – I mean, he's nearly forty, for Christ's sake! – but _nooooo_, all he wants to do is be a _doctor_! So now I'm stuck with no one to pass down the secrets of my noodle recipes, all because I let that kid have just plain too much freedom! Don't make that same mistake with your daughter, Mister Wright; I guarantee that it won't turn out well."

"Hey! Maya isn't my daughter!" the ace attorney cried, shivering intensely at the thought of bringing up a girl with Maya's appetite from birth. "I don't even _have_ a daughter…much less one that's already a teenager!"

"Fine, fine!" Eldoon bellowed, holding up his hands defensively. "Anyway, I'm running pretty low on salt – only got three sacks left! – so can you watch the stand for the next fifteen minutes or so while I run to the store?"

"Err…sure, Mister Eldoon, I guess…" Phoenix answered uncertainly, but the older man was already sprinting up the street by the time the words left his lips.

"Well, I suppose this at least affords us some measure of privacy," Edgeworth declared, motioning for his childhood friend to sit down. "So shall we return to _actual_ business, Wright?"

"Right," Phoenix responded, shaking his head wearily. "You mentioned something about a call from Larry?"

"Unfortunately, yes," Edgeworth affirmed, matching his frequent courtroom rival's tired expression. "You recall the details of my brief explanation of the case I am currently working upon, correct?"

"The Quercus Alba trial? Everyone and their mother knows the details of _that_ case, Edgeworth," the defense attorney asserted, pulling out an article on the subject from his briefcase. "The former ambassador of a foreign nation being accused of double-murder on both American and international soil in the same night…the media haven't had their hands on a legal scoop _this_ juicy since I indicted Diego as the murderer in Iris' trial."

"Whatever happened to that man, incidentally?" Miles Edgeworth found himself asking, before coughing and hastily adding, "I mean to say…he did good work for the Prosecutor's Office, that's all. And considering that he appeared to be in critical condition last I saw of him, I…feel I owe him my concern."

"He held on longer than we thought he would, but he never ended up leaving the hospital after checking in there for the final time," Phoenix related solemnly. "Diego Armando stuck around for a couple weeks after the trial so that he could set his affairs in order, but…well, his body never completely recovered from the poisoning. He passed on right at the end of February, with the funeral being held the day you returned to the country; I took Maya and Pearls on a trip to Gatewater Land right afterward to try and cheer them up about it."

"I believe I recall seeing you three there, in fact…at least briefly," Edgeworth reflected. "But enough about all that – we need to avoid getting sidetracked further. Now, are you aware of the identity of the attorney who will be facing me in tomorrow's trial?"

"Nope," the blue-suited lawyer admitted. "On your advice I stayed away from the case myself, and warned off everyone at Grossberg's firm to do likewise…so I really don't know who else would be taking up Alba's defense around here. Has he even _got_ an attorney by this point?"

"Apparently so…at least, according to Larry," Edgeworth informed him. "He recently told me that the legendary Kristoph Gavin has been poking around the embassy, claiming that Quercus Alba is his client. You _are_ aware of Gavin's reputation, are you not?"

"Umm…well, to be honest…not so much…" Phoenix confessed in a small voice, causing Edgeworth to rub his temples in apparent exasperation.

"Really, Wright, I would think you would at _least_ have the sense to keep better tabs on the individuals working in your _own_ profession," he chastised, before his general inclination toward doling out information won out. "Kristoph Gavin is an unqualified prodigy, much on the level of Franziska, and despite working on the institutionally disadvantaged side of the courts he has nonetheless maintained a spotless win-record for the past ten years. His uncanny ability to maintain his composure, even amidst the most strenuous of circumstances, has earned him the nickname 'the coolest defense in the West' from various legal publications, and his decision to move his own private firm, Gavin Law Offices, from Berlin to Los Angeles made major headlines several months ago. I'm quite surprised you didn't hear about it from the newspapers, if nothing else."

"Now that you mention it, I do think it rings a couple of bells…y'know, kinda…" Phoenix mumbled, trying to save face. "Err, wait a minute…isn't he the guy studying law and singing in a rock band on the side? I definitely remember hearing the name 'Gavin' in relation to music…but no, the ages couldn't possibly match…"

"You're probably thinking of Kristoph's younger brother, Klavier Gavin," Edgeworth stated, crossing his arms and tapping his fingers. "He's still in law school, though due to graduate within a week or so; this I know because he has expressed serious interest in coming to work at the Prosecutor's Office. In the realm of law he is just as much a prodigy as his elder sibling…although I cannot speak for his purported musical abilities."

Shaking his head again, the cravat-wearing prosecutor continued, "But that's irrelevant to the point I am attempting to make. While Kristoph Gavin's legal skills, in-and-of-themselves, cannot be denied, rather unsavory rumors have surrounded him for years. Forging evidence, blackmailing witnesses, threatening police detectives…one publication went so far as to call him 'Manfred von Karma on the other side of the bench.' And though these tales have never advanced beyond the level of idle gossip, their very existence worries me."

"How come? You're not exactly a slouch in the courtroom either, Edgeworth," Phoenix encouraged, but the brunette waved away the compliment.

"Your rather astounding string of skin-of-your-teeth successes aside, Wright, it is not always possible for an attorney playing strictly by the letter of the law to overcome someone willing to do _anything_ to attain victory," Edgeworth elaborated. "And though I discarded my concern over maintaining a perfect win-record at all costs long ago, much more rides on the outcome of this trial than on an average case.

"Quercus Alba is far more than a single man; he is the centerpiece of a vast criminal empire, and an acquittal for him could jeopardize the upcoming trials of Cammy Meele, Ernest Amano, Jacques Portsman, Shih-na…and those are merely the tip of the iceberg," the magenta-suited prosecutor went on. "In addition, Franziska is handling Alba's prosecution in Allebahst next week, and the small kingdom is under enormous international pressure to reform its justice system as it proceeds toward reunification with Babahl. If Alba is declared innocent in the United States, it would set a highly dangerous precedent that could end up setting back that process by several years at least."

"Alright…I understand the severity of the situation now," Phoenix said with a grave nod. "So how do you want me to help?"

"Err…what do you mean by that, Wright?" Edgeworth questioned confusedly.

"Hey, you've provided me with more than enough assistance on _my_ most difficult cases," Phoenix reminded him with a smile. "Dee Vasquez, Damon Gant, Matt Engarde, the resurrected Dahlia Hawthorne…all of them would have gone free without justice being served, had you not interfered in time. It seems only fair that I return the favor by doing everything I can to make sure Gavin plays this trial by the book. Mark my words: no forged evidence is going to be submitted under _my_ watch."

[-]

**Investigation – Day 2**

**March 16, 2:29 PM**

**Gavin Law Offices**

Kristoph Gavin was forging evidence; hardly an unusual occurrence for him this close to an important trial. Indeed, the blond German almost had the act down to an art form by this point; simply examining a crime scene thoroughly, determining what sort of object could logically have been "missing" from there, and then producing that object out of whole cloth was child's play. True, the miniscule risk of being caught in such an illicit act made Kristoph reticent to employ it for _every_ trial he participated in, but Quercus Alba's spectacular acquittal was poised to be his ticket to worldwide fame and fortune. For _this_ particular case, all the stops would need to be pulled out.

While Samurai Dogs were not strictly supposed to be available to the public in their original packaging, finding an unopened box on the black market on such short notice had not been inordinately difficult. In any event, dust and other residue extracted from the dressing room were currently being expertly applied to the carton by a paid-off forensic technician, allowing it to appear as if it, like the others, had been seized by Interpol in the aftermath of the incident.

"And now, for the coup-de-grâce," the scientist announced triumphantly, readying a small pipette. "Where's the DNA sample, sir?"

"Actually, I don't currently possess it…but I am going to attempt to rectify that issue very shortly," Kristoph answered cheerfully, before tapping a ponderous finger against his chin. "In fact, now that I think about it, I should be able to handle the remainder of the preparations myself. You go home and relax; the transfer to your private account has already gone through, and I've arranged for a celebratory bottle of fine champagne to be delivered to your apartment as an added gift. Do be sure to enjoy it."

"Thanks a million, Mister Gavin, sir!" the forensics specialist admonished happily, his thoughts already swimming with the sweet taste of sparkling wine as he shook the defense attorney's tanned hand and bounded out of the makeshift laboratory that he had set up within the law office. Kristoph, for his part, merely smiled at how quickly this potential loose-end had managed to wrap itself up.

After all, it was a fairly open secret amongst the Los Angeles police force that the scientist in question couldn't hold his beverages very well; presumably, atroquinine would be no exception.

[-]

**Investigation – Day 2**

**March 16, 4:14 PM**

**Detention Center**

"Good afternoon, Miss Shih-na," greeted Kristoph Gavin genially.

"Let's get one thing completely squared away before you embark on whatever inane drivel you wish to question me with," the traitorous former Interpol agent declared disinterestedly. "'Shih-na' is not my real name."

"Very well…Miss Calisto Yew, then," Kristoph said, his smile unwavering.

"Wrong again, imbecile," she drawled. "Just another one of my hundreds upon hundreds of aliases. And before you ask, no, I have no intention of sharing my true name with you or anyone else involved in this case. Hell, I'm not even entirely sure I remember how to spell it, given that I haven't utilized it in over twenty years."

"Then what do you propose I call you?" Kristoph asked, leaning a bit closer to the glass.

The older woman sighed with boredom as she intensely examined her nails, before finally replying, "I suppose Anja Elle will do for you, Mister Gavin. That was the name under which I assassinated your father, after all."

"Really? I must extend you my humblest gratitude, then," Kristoph responded, the smug smirk still dancing across his thin lips. "Without the return from dear Vater's life insurance policy, I might not have been able to attend law school as early as I did. So my eternal thanks go out to you for that laudable act, Miss Elle."

The woman currently choosing to go by Anja Elle had a rather strange reaction to this revelation; rather than being horrified at the defense attorney's cold callousness or persisting in her mask of rigid indifference, a series of strained noises, punctuated by rather odd spasms, began to bubble up from within her wicked core, until finally the professional killer was laughing uproariously, writhing back-and-forth within her metal seat. After nearly half a minute of this however the cacophonous mirth managed to die down to a low chuckle, allowing her to choke out, "Thank you for that – haven't had the chance for a good, hearty laugh since they brought me in."

"I could tell," Kristoph observed patiently, before leaning forward even further and adding, "But of course, I came here for far more pertinent matters than discussions of your name or my late, entirely unmissed father."

"So why exactly _did_ you decide to have them retrieve me from my cell?" she inquired, matching his actions; his provocation of her laugh reflex appeared to have alleviated her chronic boredom, at least for the moment. "Unless you're looking for tips for your next trial, in which case I regret to inform you that my qualifications as Calisto Yew were entirely faked. My fairly impressive trial record was attained mostly by arranging my cases so that I faced off against Winston Payne as often as possible."

"That's not quite it, though it's far closer to the crux of the matter than our previous thread of conversation," the German national pronounced, adjusting his glasses slightly. "I very recently took up the defense of former ambassador Quercus Alba, and I would like to ask you a few things about your involvement in last Thursday's incident."

"And now I understand your angle," the variably named woman remarked cynically. "Let me make this eminently clear: I have absolutely no loyalty to any man who lives upon this Earth, and that includes Quercus Alba. If I'm going down, I'm taking that ancient fool down with me."

"You do understand that you are merely delaying the inevitable, correct?" Kristoph commented, smirking more wildly. "Miles Edgeworth will doubtlessly be placing you on the stand to explain all of this tomorrow…under oath."

"Then I'm looking forward to matching wits with him once more," she rejoined, the first signs of another cackling session spewing from her soft lips. "That bratty prosecutor may be a stuck-up, stoic stick-in-the-mud, but he's also the only man I've ever met whose mind was anywhere near as brilliant as my own. Apart, perhaps, from yourself."

"Why, thank you," Kristoph replied graciously, offering his hand through the tiny gap in the glass. "In that case, I shall anticipate an intense trialogue alongside the both of you as soon as the opportunity arises. Until then, Miss Elle…or whatever you shall choose to entitle yourself during tomorrow's trial."

"Until then, Mister Gavin," the enigmatic woman agreed, taking his hand but withdrawing it a second later. "You should really give some thought to cutting your nails in the interim," she appended irritably, nursing a bad cut across her palm. "Otherwise, people might begin to…talk."

"But if I trimmed my illustrious cuticles, how in the world would I apply my Ariadoney nail polish?" Kristoph retorted jovially, already turning to exit the Detention Center with his crimson prize shimmering brilliantly upon his fingers.


	2. Part II: Colias Palaeno's Testimony

**Strange Bedfellows – Colias Palaeno's Testimony**

_Disclaimer: In case you haven't figured it out yet, I don't own Ace Attorney. All Gyakuten-related characters, settings, etc. are the intellectual property of Shu Takumi/Capcom._

[-]

**Trial – Day 1**

**March 17, 11:27 AM**

**Defendant Lobby No. 4**

"How are you feeling, Mister Alba?" Kristoph Gavin asked with an air of mock geniality.

"How do you _think_ I'm feeling, Mister Gavin?" Quercus Alba wheezed throatily, his façade of frailty once more on display for the world at large. "To be perfectly honest, you have done little to instill my confidence in your services as of yet. That whelp Edgeworth has mountains of witnesses, evidence, and ever-vital factor of public opinion on his side. Besides my rough summary of the night's events, what do _you_ have up those ridiculously colored sleeves?"

Kristoph though privately that the former ambassador, still bedecked in his full military regalia, was probably not in much of a position to comment on the "ridiculousness" of his suit, but instead he merely answered, "Worry not, Mister Alba. Simply play along with however_ I_ choose to frame Thursday's events, and all shall be well."

"…Very well, then," Quercus rasped after an uncomfortable pause. "But be warned – should you fail to save me from the fires of Hell, I will do everything in my power to ensure that you follow me into the abyss below. Perhaps not today, and perhaps not tomorrow, but eventually you too shall know death, if I am forced to face its cold sting first."

And with that, the aged general shuffled slowly into the courtroom, coughing overdramatically so as to ensure that the television cameras would catch it.

[-]

**Trial – Day 1**

**March 17, 11:30 AM**

**Courtroom No. 3**

"Court is now in session for the trial of Mister Quercus Alba," the Judge announced boomingly, slamming his gavel for emphasis. This was particularly vital in the course of the current proceedings, as the trial of a (former) foreign dignitary had evidently attracted more media attention than the District Court had seen since Ron DeLite's and Luke Atmey's respective hearings under the banner of Mask*DeMasque.

A smattering of continued chatter amongst the gallery, punctuated by one particular loudmouthed reporter shouting, "Hey, tree-guy…ya reckon ya could turn this here way just a smidgen?" caused the bearded adjudicator to pound his desk several more times.

"Order! I will have order in this court!" he cried out authoritatively, before turning to Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth and defense attorney Kristoph Gavin in turn. "Are both sides ready to proceed?"

"The defense is ready, Your Honor," Kristoph declared confidently, his arms crossed behind his back.

"The prosecution is not just ready…it's super-ready!" yelled out a young woman standing at Edgeworth's side, causing the cravat-wearing prosecutor to do a massive double-take at her presence. The Judge appeared to have roughly the same reaction.

"Err…Mister Edgeworth, who exactly is this girl?" he questioned bewilderedly.

"Well, I'm glad you asked!" she responded, cutting across Edgeworth as he opened his mouth to speak. Then, clearing her throat with great gusto, she passionately recited, "Even in the depths of night, when no other bird dares to take flight, one alone soars to shine the light of righteousness on the world's blight! And that one is me! For I am the Great Thief, _Yatagarasu!_"

"G…Great Thief?" the Judge exclaimed in shock, his eyes wide and his hands trembling. "Shouldn't you be more wary of shouting out something like that in the middle of a court of law?"

"Oh, I haven't actually stolen anything _yet_," she admitted cheerfully. "The Yatagarasu cares not for petty trinkets like gold or jewels; the only target for its eager claws is the truth!"

"The…truth?" the Judge pondered aloud, evidently failing to see how an intangible ideal could be stolen. "Well, in any event…in what capacity are you appearing before this court today, Miss…err, Yatagarasu?"

"You can just call me Kay, Your Honor," the would-be thief informed him. "Kay Faraday! And I'm here to serve as Mister Edgeworth's co-councilly person for this trial!"

_**OBJECTION!**_

"Hey, wait a minute here!" the magenta-suited prosecutor finally spoke up. "I never asked nor agreed for you to act as my co-council, Kay!"

"Well, you didn't say I _couldn't_ do it either, Mister Edgeworth!" Kay rejoined, flashing an enormous grin. "And you should know by now that if you leave an opening unattended like this, the Yatagarasu is sure to swoop in and steal it!"

Miles Edgeworth sighed and shook his head, before inquiring, "Where exactly is Detective Gumshoe? He was _supposed_ to be…watching you."

"Aw, Gummy got a call and said he had to run," Kay related, casually adjusting her gloves. "He told me to go and wait with Mister Lang up in the gallery, but I didn't really feel like it, so I headed over here to help you instead!"

"…At this point, cutting that man's pay seems almost…perfunctory," Edgeworth lamented, his eye twitching in exasperation.

"Err…alright then," the Judge said, turning back to Kristoph Gavin, who had been standing patiently throughout the entire exchange. "I am somewhat surprised to see the defense forgo a co-council while the prosecution takes one, even if the circumstances surrounding her introduction were a bit…unorthodox. Usually in this particular court, the reverse is true."

"Oh I assure you, Your Honor, that I simply haven't found a student I consider worthy of assisting me," Kristoph told him. "I've been mulling over finding a protégé and training them by my side for quite a few years now, but I haven't yet discovered a young man with a sufficient grasp on the true meaning of…justice.'"

"If you would like my professional opinion, you should perhaps be a little less quick to judge your potential apprentices," the Judge advised sagely. "Why, look at Phoenix Wright – right now he's one of the most successful defense lawyers in the country, if also one of its…strangest. But go back a few years, and he was nothing more than a big crybaby screaming about his perfidious girlfriend, right here in this very court! The passage of time, particularly under the tutelage of a veteran attorney such as yourself, can work wonders for a student's personality."

Although he was sorely tempted to share exactly what _he_ thought of rank amateurs like Phoenix Wright, Kristoph held his tongue and merely replied, "I'll keep that in mind, Your Honor."

The Judge did not appear to be listening, however, as the mention of the words "crybaby" and "this very court" seemed to have awakened a dim memory within his bald skull, causing him to instinctually bring down his gavel in excitement. "Ah – now I remember!" he shouted triumphantly. "Kay Faraday, daughter of virtuoso prosecutor Byrne Faraday…we met around seven years ago in the middle of this courtroom, did we not? That was the very day that Prosecutor Faraday…err…"

"The day he was killed, yes," Kay confirmed, the downcast expression now spreading across her face providing a sharp contrast to the exuberance that had flooded it just moments before. "P…Perhaps we should get to the whole…um…opening thingy-thing."

"Indeed we should," the Judge agreed, nodding gravely. "And I am extremely sorry for bringing up such a difficult topic for you, my dear…although I have a bad feeling that this is going to be another one of those cases where quite a few difficult topics will end up getting addressed on the part of everyone involved. Now Mister Edgeworth, your opening statement, please."

"Very well," Miles Edgeworth responded. "The prosecution intends to prove that at some point during the Steel Samurai stage show on the evening of March 14, Mister Quercus Alba killed Manny Coachen in a dressing room adjacent to the main theater – a location that constitutes American soil, and thus that remains firmly in the jurisdiction of this court. We will further prove Mister Alba's motive for this murder, and in so doing expose his role as ringleader of a vast global smuggling ring to the world at-large."

The volume of the crowd's muttering increased dramatically at this accusation – evidently, some in the audience had been expecting no charges greater than the single murder for which Alba was being tried – forcing the Judge to bring down his gavel several more times. After pausing for the assemblage's blather to die down, he then encouraged, "You may call your first witness, Mister Edgeworth."

"Thank you, Your Honor," Edgeworth declared, calmly but determinedly. His rousing opening statement appeared to have reared up the fire behind his gray eyes. "The prosecution calls Ambassador Colias Palaeno to the stand."

A minute later the ambassador in question was situated behind the witness stand, rubbing his hands together and smiling so wide that it almost looked painful. "Please state your name and profession for the record," the prosecutor requested, causing the man to open his tightly shut eyes a fraction of an inch and turn to the gallery.

"Might I first say what an esteemed honor it is to be among so many men and women dedicated to the administration of justice," he opened, shifting his attention from one audience member to another in rapid succession. "On behalf of the recently reunited Principality of Cohdopia, I want to personally thank each and every one of you for participating in this grand event. And as a reward for your collective integrity, I shall be offering fliers, pamphlets, and coupons to our country's numerous tourist attractions and dining establishments as soon as these proceedings are completed, free of charge."

"With all due respect, Ambassador Palaeno, this is neither the time nor the place for such announcements," Edgeworth hissed, clearly flustered by the shamelessness of Colias' self-promotion.

"Mister Edgeworth is, err, quite right. Please just give us your name and occupation, sir," chimed in the Judge, before he added in a carrying whisper, "Make sure to put me down for a couple of those grilled lobster coupons."

"No problem whatsoever, Your Honor!" the tanned blond yielded agreeably. "I am Colias Palaeno, currently the ambassador of the newly reunited Cohdopia to the United States. At the time of the murder, however, I was the ambassador of Babahl, one of Cohdopia's two component countries."

"And were you related to the victim or the defendant in some fashion?" the Judge requested.

"Manny Coachen was my personal secretary, in addition to being the secretariat of the entire embassy," Colias clarified, now looking rather more serious. "His competence and efficiency allowed him to operate as a high-ranking member of the aforementioned smuggling ring right under my nose. Mister Alba, meanwhile, was my counterpart – the ambassador of Cohdopia's other daughter, Allebahst. That status afforded him even greater protections from prying eyes than Manny enjoyed."

"Very well, then," said the Judge, nodding. "You may begin your testimony, Ambassador."

"Absolutely, Your Honor, absolutely!" Colias Palaeno consented easily, before a questioning look spread across his face. "Err…what exactly do you wish for me to testify about?"

"Let's start off with the circumstances under which you discovered the body, Ambassador," Edgeworth suggested, to which Colias nodded fervently and cleared his throat.

_-Witness Testimony-_

_**The Discovery of the Crime**_

"_Manny and I spent the morning of the incident preparing his office for some photo opportunities._

_We straightened the whole place up and burned old files, coupons, that sort of thing. _

_After that we parted and didn't see each other again, as I was far too preoccupied by the fire that swallowed the topmost floors of our embassy!_

_The fire was extinguished, but we kept it under wraps so as not to alarm all the guests enjoying the Jammin' Ninja's stage show._

_But right after the show, I was called to Manny's office and found it to have been burned as well!_

_And there in the center of the room was Manny – stone cold dead!"_

"My, my…that _was_ some interesting testimony," the Judge commented. "A murder surrounded by two possible counts of arson…very well. Mister Gavin, you may begin your cross-examination."

Kristoph merely smiled and uncrossed his arms, leaning in toward the smiling ambassador. Now was the time for a little…fishing.

_-Cross-Examination-_

_**The Discovery of the Crime**_

"_Manny and I spent the morning of the incident preparing his office for some photo opportunities."_

_**HOLD IT!**_

"You mentioned that Mister Coachen was your secretary, correct?" Gavin pressed. "So why exactly did you decide to hold these 'photo opportunities' in his office rather than your own?"

"Oh, did I not mention it already to the court?" Colias wondered aloud. "How inconsiderate of me! You see, most of the embassy was undergoing extreme renovations at the time of the incident – the Goodwill Jubilee was attracting numerous potential tourists, and we wanted to be sure not to portray Babahl as a poor nation! – so Manny's office was the only one available for the pictures we planned to take of myself and the Jammin' Ninja."

"I see," Kristoph responded with a small adjustment of his glasses. "And what exactly did these 'preparations' entail?"

"_We straightened the whole place up and burned old files, coupons, that sort of thing."_

_**HOLD IT!**_

"Why did you choose to burn all of your old files rather than, say, shred them?" Kristoph asked shrewdly. "Using the volatile power of flame to destroy your waste seems rather inefficient…not to mention dangerous."

"Oh, we didn't have a shredder on-hand," the ambassador responded genially. "And since the documents contained some rather sensitive pieces of information, we couldn't just throw them all into the garbage willy-nilly. So Manny's fireplace really was the only possible avenue for disposing of all our spare papers."

"Being forced to use another man's office for important business, neglecting to bring a shredding machine on a day where you expected to destroy sensitive documents…so far, your testimony isn't painting a particularly good picture for your level of competence, Ambassador Palaeno," Kristoph remarked softly, one eye on the Judge. Right now, the defense attorney's best bet for advancing his case was to raise some doubt as to the trustworthiness of this witness in the mind of the bearded adjudicator. After all, with juries having been completely abolished some decade prior, his opinion was the only one in the room that really mattered.

"I do apologize for coming off that way," Colias said, looking a bit downcast. "I suppose I'm still just a bit frazzled from everything that's gone on recently. Manny was the one who used to deal with all this for me, and without him…"

_**HOLD IT!**_

"Let me get this straight, Ambassador…you required the assistance of an accused murderer and counterfeiter to perform even the most basic functions of your position?" Kristoph demanded piercingly, his arm extended. "You allowed the welfare of your very nation to be handled by an international criminal, just so you could laze about and hand out coupons all day? What a _valuable_ asset to your country you seem to be."

"Hey, it wasn't like that!" Colias Palaeno shouted back, his eyes finally snapping open at the insult. "I will admit readily that I was fooled by Manny for far too long, but…well, I mean…it wasn't…"

"Wasn't what?" Kristoph Gavin continued to press. "You mean to claim that these are not signs that you have categorically failed in your duties as ambassador? After all, Babahl's top two representatives to the United States have now been revealed to be a vile criminal who did virtually all the work, and a grossly negligent figurehead who managed to somehow miss every single one of those criminal deeds across years upon years of service. Or am I mistaken in some way in my interpretation of the facts you have spewed out to this courtroom?"

Colias Palaeno did not answer the question immediately; rather, he seemed on the brink of tears.

_**OBJECTION!**_

"Mister Gavin, cease badgering the witness at once!" Edgeworth cried out sternly, slamming the podium with his palm. "Ambassador Palaeno may have his faults, but I absolutely refuse to allow you to impugn his patriotism. No man on Earth has given more in the service of the Republic of Babahl than the gentleman standing before us."

"I'll sustain that objection," the Judge declared gruffly. "Mister Gavin, please refrain from such personal attacks in the future. And as for you, Ambassador…chin up. This court simply wants to hear your testimony in full so that it might more accurately discern the truth of this sordid affair. Your personal character is not on trial here."

"Yes, Your Honor," both Kristoph and Colias responded after a short pause, though with vastly differing tones. The blond ambassador then made a visible effort to restore his wide, amiable grin and continued on as if nothing had happened, though it was noticeable to all that his eyes were still wide-open and alert.

"_After that we parted and didn't see each other again, as I was far too preoccupied by the fire that swallowed the topmost floors of our embassy!"_

_**HOLD IT!**_

"Let's hear a few more details about this fire, shall we?" Kristoph Gavin suggested pointedly.

"V…Very well, then," Colias Palaeno replied, his hand-rubbing proceeding at a far slower pace. "The fire in question was started by Agent Shih-na, in order to manipulate the embassy staff into draining our reservoir. It consumed the entirety of the fourth and fifth floors and proved very difficult to combat, but eventually we managed to beat it down."

_**OBJECTION!**_

"Do you have any proof as to the identity of the arsonist?" Kristoph queried. "This is, after all, a rather serious accusation."

"Well, not really _proof_, per se…but Mister Edgeworth said…" the ambassador murmured, caught off-balance by the directness of the question.

"Prosecutor Edgeworth's word does not constitute anything remotely resembling definitive proof in this court, Ambassador," the defense attorney interrupted. "Any statements you have based upon his own private conclusions are nothing more than hearsay, and are not permitted within this hallowed sanctum of law."

"Much as I hate to admit it, Mister Gavin is entirely correct on that note," the Judge pronounced, shaking his head imperiously. "Ambassador Palaeno, please restrict all further testimony to those things that you personally saw or heard. Unless…Mister Edgeworth, do you currently possess any evidence to corroborate the nonobjective portions of his testimony?"

"I do indeed, Your Honor," Miles Edgeworth responded smugly, his hands outstretched. "But I do not believe that now is the time for me to show it. Please, allow me to prove Agent Shih-na's role in the Babahlese fires – and the deeper scheme into which they fit – when the time is more appropriate."

"Very well, Mister Edgeworth," the Judge consented, causing a split-second scowl to flit across Kristoph Gavin's features. His usual impassivity was firmly back in place, however, by the time that the senior adjudicator stated, "You may return to the cross-examination."

"_The fire was extinguished, but we kept it under wraps so as not to alarm all the guests enjoying the Jammin' Ninja's stage show."_

_**HOLD IT!**_

"Again, let me reiterate that I have no intention of impugning you or the way operations are conducted within your embassy," Kristoph began silkily. "But does it strike no one else as just the tiniest bit irresponsible to fight a fire completely in secret while a crowd of hundreds waits unwittingly below? Even if the inferno was, to take your turn of phrase, 'extinguished,' there might still be a hazard presented by embers filtering down into the lower floors."

"Well, that thought _did_ occur to me, but ultimately it was decided that in the absence of any immediate danger it was far more important for the sanctity of the reunification event to be upheld," Colias related. "Manny was particularly insistent on it."

Kristoph merely grinned in satisfaction; he had set the trap masterfully, and this utter clown attempting to pass himself off as a dignitary had fallen straight into it. "Ambassador Palaeno, let us review what we have gathered from your testimony thus far," he propositioned. "Firstly, you freely admit that you relied almost exclusively upon Mister Coachen for years, to the point where he felt comfortable giving _you_ orders. Furthermore, you have demonstrated an obsequious willingness to accede to those orders, even when the lives of hundreds of innocents could potentially have been in jeopardy. And finally, the victim's utility to your everyday functions led directly to a pattern of gross negligence on your part, allowing a variety of illegal activity to happen immediately underneath your purview – supposedly, without you ever being the wiser."

_**OBJECTION!**_

"Need I remind you of the Judge's warning on this subject, Mister Gavin?" Edgeworth interjected, glaring fiercely. "Fashioning your insults of the ambassador's character to be more oblique does not render them any more acceptable in this court."

"Who said anything about insults?" Kristoph rejoined, tapping his glasses. "I am merely restating the facts as Ambassador Palaeno himself presented them. But all the same, Your Honor…even if we accept that this man's intentions were valid and selfless – and for the record, I believe wholeheartedly that they were – do these details reveal the image of a witness who can be trusted to give clear, unbiased testimony to this courtroom at such a critical juncture as this? We will be unable to arrive any closer to the truth of this distasteful affair so long as our path is being lit by a man who was quite clearly divorced from the crux of events as they occurred. So as much as it pains me to suggest this, sir…I deem it necessary that we dismiss this witness at once."

"That seems unduly harsh, wouldn't you say?" the Judge questioned, his eyes wide. "Err…Prosecutor Edgeworth, what say you to this?"

Miles Edgeworth, for his part, was now staring at Kristoph Gavin as if he had never quite seen anything like him. "I firmly believe that the defense's suggestion is so patently ridiculous that it scarcely warrants a response," he declared in slow, deliberate tones. "While the prosecution will admit to certain…shortcomings in the ambassador's testimony, by-and-large it remains a vital piece of the puzzle we intend to unravel today. At the very least, Ambassador Palaeno should _certainly_ be permitted to complete his current testimony before we unceremoniously eject him from the stand."

Following this the magenta-wearing prosecutor had something whispered angrily into his ear by his co-council, who looked quite incensed; Edgeworth merely reeled back and instructed her harshly, "Kay, you can't use that sort of language in court!"

"But he _is_ being an asshole, Mister Edgeworth!" Kay Faraday protested loudly, causing some in the gallery to gasp and others to take photos. Kristoph, meanwhile, began to consider whether filing for the self-proclaimed thief to be placed in contempt of court at this point would help or hurt his case, before ultimately deciding that the hassle wouldn't be worth it. She didn't seem to be providing his opposition with any significant assistance, after all.

"Order! Please strike all statements made after Mister Edgeworth's last from the record," the Judge called out, clearly slightly flustered by the short hubbub. "Now, Mister Gavin…I fully and completely deny your request. This court sees no need for the ambassador to be dismissed from the stand until all pertinent information has been extricated from his testimony. Now, kindly resume the cross-examination."

"…Yes, Your Honor," Kristoph replied after a lengthy pause. Apparently, sowing the seeds of doubt within this particular judge's mind – the only true path to success as a defense attorney – would be far from simple with Miles Edgeworth around. But Kristoph was not overly dismayed; it had, in any event, been quite a while since he had been able to taste a real challenge.

"_But right after the show, I was called to Manny's office and found it to have been burned as well!"_

_**HOLD IT!**_

"Throughout this testimony, we've heard several allusions to a pair of twin conflagrations set forth on the same night, but the precise timing and details of these events remains decidedly…unclear," the tanned blond told him. "Could you, perhaps, delineate a timeline or something of the sort?"

"I believe that _I_ can help with that," Edgeworth said authoritatively. "In fact, I had a chart of the embassy's layout reproduced for just such an eventuality."

_**TAKE THAT!**_

The chart in question, printed on a wide board for the benefit of the Judge, was wheeled into the room by Kay Faraday and pointed at an angle, so that the audience could take in the full effect of Edgeworth's explanation as well. "Now, the building represented by this chart served as two separate embassies on the night of the murder: one for Allebahst and one for Babahl, with one piece of neutral American territory – the Theatrum Neutralis – set in the middle," he elucidated, pointing at each entity in turn. "For the purposes of this particular portion of the prosecution's case, we shall be focusing solely on the Babahlese side."

Now pointing to the upper portion of that half of the diagram, Edgeworth went on, "These are the fourth and fifth floors, which were completely burned out by the first fire near the beginning of the Jammin' Ninja's stage show, at approximately 5:30 PM. Fortunately the renovations Ambassador Palaeno mentioned earlier ensured that there were no casualties, but his own office on the fifth floor was completely decimated. In any event however, through the concentrated efforts of most of the embassy support staff the flames were put out sometime before the stage show ended at 6:00 PM."

"And what about the second fire?" the Judge asked.

"That one is much easier to pinpoint the timeframe on, as it was fought publically and so was entered into the embassy's public records," the magenta-suited prosecutor offered, withdrawing the document in question from his briefcase. "As you can see, Your Honor, the fire began at 6:05 PM, give-or-take a few minutes, and was successfully doused at precisely 6:33 PM. Its effects were localized solely to the third floor of the Babahlese embassy, including Manny Coachen's office – the location where the body was discovered."

"That's the part that _I_ would like to hear a bit more about," the Judge pronounced. "Unless the prosecution has anything else they wish to add to this outline?"

"Not at this time, Your Honor," Edgeworth responded promptly. "My purpose in calling this witness was chiefly to establish the bare, unabashed facts of the incident; as I stated earlier, details regarding the culprit behind these fires and their connection to the murder of Manny Coachen shall be forthcoming as my next two witnesses take the stand in turn."

"In that case, let us finally lay to rest this cross-examination, Mister Gavin," the Judge ordered.

"_And there in the center of the room was Manny – stone cold dead!"_

_**HOLD IT!**_

"Was the cause of death easily determined?" Kristoph queried, his glasses flashing. "The police department seems to have…neglected to provide me with an autopsy report."

"The forensics lab has been at a complete deadlock since yesterday afternoon due a chief scientist in the department ingesting a lethal dose of some as-of-yet unidentified poison," Edgeworth informed him, looking grave. "As such, I only received a copy of the formal autopsy report mere hours before today's trial began. I shall enter it into the Court Record for your perusal, however."

_**TAKE THAT!**_

"Hmm…interesting," the German lawyer mused as his eyes scanned across the file. "A single stab wound to the back of the neck, causing what was almost certainly instantaneous death, though there were signs that the victim may have put up a struggle prior to receiving the injury that ended his life…very well, then. I wish to inquire further about this business regarding the supposed murder weapon, however; what, precisely, is an 'Allebahstian knife'?"

"I believe that I can answer that question," Colias Palaeno proffered, his expression overtly serious now that he was once again addressing Kristoph. "Both Allebahst and Babahl have a set of three ornamental knives present as wall decorations in their embassies, each emblazoned with one of the former Cohdopia's national symbols – a blooming flower for Allebahst, and an elegant butterfly for Babahl. One notable feature of the knives, however, is that they can all freely swap handles with each other, so the weapon found next to Manny's body was actually an Allebahstian knife refastened onto a Babahlese handle."

"I'll submit the knife in question as evidence, Your Honor," Edgeworth added, carefully handing over the bag containing the weapon to the court bailiff, who dutifully brought it before the Judge.

"My word, this _is_ elegant craftsmanship," he commented. "What a shame that such a fine work of art could be used for such a foul purpose."

"Quite so, Your Honor," Kristoph interjected. "But regardless of the artistic value of this alleged murder weapon, do you not agree that the information we have heard regarding its make-up is worth appending to the existing testimony?"

"I will accede to that point," the Judge replied, turning his gaze to Colias. "Ambassador Palaeno, please summarize your most recent piece of testimony for the posterity of the record."

"Of course, Your Honor!" Colias Palaeno exclaimed agreeably; the comparatively sour demeanor with which he had begun to address Kristoph giving way the moment that he turned away from the azure-suited man. "To review, then…"

"_Found next to Manny's body was the apparent murder weapon, an Allebahstian knife-blade affixed to a Babahlese handle."_

_**OBJECTION!**_

"I would like to submit into the Court Record documentation detailing the inordinately strict border policies that both Allebahst and Babahl were practicing on the night of the murder," Kristoph announced, poised to finally escalate this trial into something remotely interesting. "With any and all entrants into either country being checked thoroughly by customs agents, I ask that someone please explain how exactly an Allebahstian weapon – or even a piece of one – could have possibly made its way into Babahl."

"You've got it backward, Mister Gavin," Edgeworth countered. "It's not the knife that was smuggled into Babahl in order to kill Manny Coachen…it was _Manny Coachen_ that was smuggled into Babahl, with the knife still lodged in his body!"

"Are you certain about this, Prosecutor Edgeworth?" the Judge exclaimed, his eyes wide at this latest assertion. "If taking a single knife from one country to the other was as difficult as Mister Gavin has claimed, how in the world could an intact corpse be brought in without arising suspicion?"

"Let me remind you, Your Honor, that in my opening statement I announced my intention to not only prove Quercus Alba guilty as the murderer of Manny Coachen, but further to prove that the act was committed on American soil, placing it firmly under this court's purview," Edgeworth returned, his eyes ablaze now that control of the trial had largely returned to his side. "Manny Coachen was killed in the Theatrum Neutralis, and virtually everything that occurred at the embassies during the subsequent hours, the fires included, was enacted solely to transport his body to a location where Mister Alba would remain free from suspicion!"

As with all of Edgeworth's previous speeches this one elicited a strong reaction from the gathered crowd, and from his lowly place on the defendant's stand Kristoph Gavin could observe his client regarding him with an expression of untempered rage; after all, establishing these details about the murder weapon only shortened the list of potential suspects to the few who had virtually unlimited access to any point in the building, Alba included.

Kristoph merely smirked and ignored the glare, however, as he said pointedly, "I think that it is high-time for the prosecution to cease putting off the matter of the fires any longer. You, Mister Edgeworth, have claimed that both counts of arson were part of some convoluted scheme to ferry around the body without anyone else being the wiser. So are we to assume that my client, a seventy-two year-old man with a hunched back, managed to make his way into Babahl and set fire to it twice without detection?"

"Well to start off with, that 'hunched back' is an utter façade, Mister Gavin, as anyone present at the theater on the night of the murder can attest," Edgeworth rejoined, tapping his finger knowingly to his temple. "Quercus Alba was a high-ranking official in the Cohdopian military for decades, and indeed is about as physically fit as a man his age could possibly be. All the same, however, I can safely inform you that Mister Alba never set one foot in Babahl on March 14."

"He had an accomplice, then?" Kristoph called out, his lip curling condescendingly. "Would you care to point out exactly who that might be?"

"Gladly," Edgeworth responded laconically, before slamming his finger to a single mug-shot on his list of individuals involved in the case.

_**TAKE THAT!**_

"Who…_is_ this breathtaking woman, Prosecutor Edgeworth?" the Judge asked loudly, his jaw low.

Miles Edgeworth reacted by flinching back dramatically, while his co-council merely glared daggers at the elderly adjudicator, whose mouth immediately snapped back shut. "Urgh…the woman pictured here is an Interpol agent currently going by the alias of Shih-na," Edgeworth stammered tetchily. "In actuality, however, she is a mole for the smuggling ring that is responsible for the spreading of counterfeit currency in Zheng Fa, Borginia, Moldova, Laos, and various other small Eurasian nations…the ring that the prosecution continues to contend is headed by the defendant!"

"And are we going to hear from her testimony next, then?" Kristoph goaded, but his opposite number shook his head imperiously.

"No, Mister Gavin," he declined. "Before we hear directly from Shih-na on the subject of her superior's crimes, I think it would be prudent to share a few facts to this court about the Yatagarasu."

"The Yatagarasu? But…isn't that what _this_ young lady is calling herself?" the Judge questioned.

"Well see, I'm actually the _second_ Yatagarasu," Kay Faraday elaborated. "The first Yatagarasu was created to take down the smuggling ring, except of course that one-third of it really _didn't_ wanna do that, but now I guess she probably does 'cause she really doesn't give a crap about Mister Alba, though I think I might be skipping some stuff…err, let me start again!"

"That's…alright, Kay," Edgeworth assured her quickly; it didn't look like the Judge could possibly get any more confused without suffering some sort of aneurism. "The important information to note is that the original Yatagarasu – the one known to the media as a mysterious vigilante 'Hero of Justice' – was in fact a three-person conglomerate, composed from the beginning of Kay's father Byrne Faraday, Shih-na in her identity as defense attorney Calisto Yew, and the man I intend to bring forward to this court in just a few moments."

"I remember Calisto Yew well," the Judge recalled. "She shot at you in this very courtroom before disappearing from public life, did she not?"

"Indeed she did," Edgeworth affirmed, nodding.

"You mean to say, then, that she was a traitorous mole for a smuggling operation all along?" he asked with eyebrows raised. "Hmm…it's times like this that make me consider whether perhaps we should vet our attorneys' legal qualifications a bit more thoroughly."

Miles Edgeworth ignored the strong impulse to say something as childish and ungentlemanlike as "well duh," instead merely declaring, "Thank you very much for your cooperation, Ambassador Palaeno, but now it is time for us to move onto our next witness. The prosecution calls Mister Tyrell Badd to the stand!"

Colias Palaeno took a moment to offer both Edgeworth and the Judge wide smiles (and to surreptitiously hand over the coupons he had promised to the Judge prior to his testimony), and another to regard Kristoph with a mixture of apprehension and severe dislike, before scooting off of the witness stand and returning to the prosecutor's lobby. Before the cravat-wearing young man could summon the aforementioned former detective, however, the Judge rapped sharply with his gavel and decreed, "Before we move on, I feel it appropriate for this court to take a short ten-minute recess. You may prepare your witness during that time."

"Very well, Your Honor," both lawyers declared simultaneously, though while Miles Edgeworth was no doubt focused on the questioning of that blathering relic Tyrell Badd, Kristoph was looking rather farther ahead. He had been attempting to manipulate his opposition from the onset into calling upon Shih-na so that Kristoph could finally deliver the blow that would turn this entire trial around, but the elder Gavin brother did not mind waiting. Whether Prosecutor Edgeworth brought the treacherous spy to the stand immediately or two days from now mattered not; either way, Kristoph would still win in the end.

"This court is now in recess!" the Judge ordered, bringing his gavel down forcefully, Kristoph Gavin merely smiling as he patiently awaited his moment of victory.


End file.
